I don’t know the five people I want to be the average of

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn*

I’ve been thinking about the above quote a lot lately, because I’ve been thinking about where my time is going, who it’s going to, and how that is enabling or limiting my ability to reach my goals and continue becoming the person I want to be. Continue reading “I don’t know the five people I want to be the average of”

5 Valentine’s gifts for the urban lumberjack boyfriend I’m about to steal from you

Valentine’s Day is coming up in two days. I forgot to manifest a boyfriend, so I’ll be celebrating with a delicious vegan dinner at Modern Love with my friend Casey. But if you’re dating a man (or other person who’d like this stuff), and you forgot to buy a present, you’re in luck! My friend Ivy asked my thoughts on last-minute V Day gifts available from Amazon Prime. Here are 5 options that would be suitable for any of the men I’ve cared seriously for in the past decade: Continue reading “5 Valentine’s gifts for the urban lumberjack boyfriend I’m about to steal from you”

When I’m too tired to do something, I plan

The first week of 2018 has been, frankly, a bit draining. Here in New York, as in much of the U.S., we’re covered in snow. I managed to make it out the door for yoga this morning (for which I deserve a medal), but other than that I’ve been holed up in my draftier-than-preferred apartment, working from home on my chaise lounge under a pile of blankets. This is not hygge; hell, it’s not even hygge-adjacent.

Between the weather and my lack of interaction with other people in the past 10 hours, I’m in a bit of a creative slump. I don’t feel up to attacking anything that requires real inspiration or brainpower. But because the rest of the week has involved similarly frigid climes, along with playing catch-up post-holidays, I’m already way behind on my creative goals for 2018. My brain is too fried to make any real progress tonight, but there’s one thing I can do: plan.

Planning does two things: Continue reading “When I’m too tired to do something, I plan”

5 benefits of a growth mindset

I spent much of the past year reprogramming my brain, but until recently I didn’t have a term for the big change that has had a halo effect over all areas of my life. Recently, through the On Books podcast (also on iTunes), I discovered Carol Dweck’s excellent book Mindset, which gave me the phrase I was looking for: growth mindset. Continue reading “5 benefits of a growth mindset”

Starting 2018 with a clean slate

[Full disclosure: I started this post three years ago and recently found it in my Medium drafts. I thought there was a decent idea here so I decided to finish it. Some of the specifics are… from December 2014.]

In a former life, I was the board liaison for a major performing arts nonprofit. I realized recently that one of things I miss most about that job is the feeling of closing out a year. Each summer, as the fiscal year came to an end, I’d wrap up every task related to that year and start the new fiscal year with a clean slate. In my current career as a content marketer, I’m unlikely to experience such a clear break between one year and the next. Projects, plans, and deals often span years, without the possibility of being able to tie everything up neatly at one time. At times, this has left me feeling burnt out and like there’s no end in sight.

As such, I started thinking about ways I could recreate the clean-slate feeling despite murkier circumstances. Here’s what I came up with: Continue reading “Starting 2018 with a clean slate”

Finding a backup purpose for someone

I’m a recovering control freak. I’ve long been prone to getting ideas in my head about what “should” happen, and then ignoring all evidence to the contrary. I habitually refuse to let go of my vision for the role a person or thing should play in my life, which makes it hard to get over situations where that vision is never realized. Continue reading “Finding a backup purpose for someone”

On trying to manifest something you’re not ready for

I’ve written before about how I basically used my own off-brand version of The Secret to manifest my last two serious, long-term relationships. This post went live four months before I started the nearly-three-year relationship that ended in April.

I’ve been trying to write the 2017 version of that post — what I’ve been calling “my most reliable form of sorcery” — since this summer, and I just can’t get there. Continue reading “On trying to manifest something you’re not ready for”